The Junk Yard

Ok let’s face it kids…considering the path you’re taking through life, that is spending most of your free time playing flash games, you’re most likely gonna end up working at a junk yard… and that’s if you’re lucky! So you might as well practice with this game so you get good at your future job!

(Ahhhh. I’m just kidding by the way I know you can do anything that you set your mind to…..I mean look at me…long ago I decided to set my goals high and I’m on my way to accomplishing my dream of being a full time bum! )

SO go ahead!!!

(29 votes, average: 3.72 out of 5)

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Sand Storm

I haven’t played a top down car game that controls this nicely for awhile. While this game lacks some of the features that other racing games have, like purchasing different vehicles, buying specific power-ups or choosing different modes of racing….it is still probably my favorite top down racer!

So put on your eye goggles….you wouldn’t want to get dust or a scorpion in your eye!….. and take a trip to Sahara, where the sky is blue, the sand is a yellowish sort of color,  kind of like a pale banana, you know the color I’m trying to describe..I mean it’s not really bright yellow, it has a little brown in it…hmmnn…..maybe a hint or orange in places….yeah that’s it……………………………yeah……ok..I’m going now

By the way!…..Do you guys remember Super Cars on the c64??? That was one great game wasn’t it? One of my favorites!!

Enjoy a screenshot!

(129 votes, average: 4.16 out of 5)

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JVC Stinger Sniper Dress Up - by Zatchouli (A FAN!)

Somewhere among the emails suggesting that I should englarge certain parts of my body……forwarded to me by my girlfriend….hmmnn…strange there’s sometimes very nice emails from people who have really enjoyed the games I create. One particular and very clever fan sent me this as he really enjoyed playing Jack Van Cell - Stinger Sniper.

It’s a dress up game by Zatchouli, a 14 year old dude from France! Just in case you wanted to see what Jack looks like in a Stingers suit or a bright yellow fluorescent leotard, well NOW YOU CAN!! It’s always great to get someone going to this much trouble to show their appreciation for my work

THANK YOU VERY MUCH  Zatchouli!

(28 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5)

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Sprout

This is another oldie but a goodie! It’s a very odd idea to me…..it’s basically a point and click but all you do is sprout into different things as you continue through the story.

Hmmmnnnn…. I feel like doing some gardening now after all the sprouting I see in this game…maybe I’ll grow me a big potato….or maybe not….I mean I tried it before, it takes so long before anything grows! Last time I planted a seed I sat there for months, bored as hell, staring at it, waiting for something to happen. Come to think of it, that’s kinda like watching ‘LOST’ the TV series (the sitting and waiting that is…) I mean I’m not saying that they do a lot of gardening on the Island, but maybe they should, that way they’d have something to eat….hmmnnn…..FASCINATING!!!

(34 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)

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Colorfill

This is an old one but that doesn’t stop it from being a great game! Such a simple idea and yet everytime you sit down to play this game you seem to wake up after an unknown number of hours, dehydrated with bloodshot eyes, the daylight’s gone and you’ve grown a beard……hmmnnn…..it’s like skipping time Give it a go if you dare!

(27 votes, average: 3.04 out of 5)

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Chronotron

A great idea makes a great game! Robots are always cool so you can’t loose with this one. I wish I could rewind time….maybe I’d rewind time to when I was a kid….when all that mattered was playing computer games and getting cool toys like ROBOTS!!! I remember I always wanted a friend robot….one that would do my homework and play computer games with me….(SO I DIDN’T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS OK!!!) As I grew up I kept wanting a robot, but my idea of what the robot should look like changed dramatically. In my mind it no longer resembled the 80’s Number 5 from Short Circuit and morphed more into something that resembled Angelina Jolie crossed with Pamela Anderson. My intentions for it’s usage also changed from computer games buddy to……ummnnnn…..other stuff but I’d still let it do my homework hmmmnnnnn  I can only dream…..

(19 votes, average: 3.74 out of 5)

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Jack the Fugitive

I DIDN’T KILL MY WIFE! I DON’T CARE! ha ha ha. In this game you help Jack find his wife….look…..obviously they had a fight….it was probably over something stupid like he didn’t put the toilet seat down, or answered with a “HELL YEAH” when she asked him if her butt looked too big, she split, probably went to get some groceries or something and now Jack’s gone all gun happy and shoots everyone who gets in his way until he finds her…

So help this maniac find his missus quick!

(21 votes, average: 4.05 out of 5)

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Banana Dash World 2

A fun way to kill ten minutes of a boring day! You know…one of those days when you’re so bored that you’ve been picking your nose for an hour and building a small fortress with all the treasures you’ve found up there!

What? …….you don’t do that? Well me neither…..I just heard from a friend of a friend that some people do that

(23 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)

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HyperDrive X

After failing level one for the seventy first time  I started to wonder if maybe I was doing something wrong. On my hundred and twenty first try I decided to read the instructions

The trick with this one is to fly through the correct shapes which give you the fast speed!……

Give it a go!

(30 votes, average: 3.77 out of 5)

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Detonate 2

BOOOOOOMMM!!!! Is what this game would say if it could talk!

Hmmmnnn…that is possibly the gayest intro I’ve ever written to a game review…Oh oh! Darn it! Now you’re probably gonna search through my posts and bring out all the other, even worse intros that I’ve written……oohhhhh how do I save myself now…I have to finish with a really clever outro…..

LISTEN TO THIS KIDS: BOMBS DON’T KILL! PEOPLE KILL!

Hmmmnnn…..Well that’s not really true…when a bomb goes off accidentally then it kills….or if a bomb is designed to have artificial intelligence, then it could also have the ability to potentially kill if it had the desire to do so…..hmmnnnnn……Mind Boggling Topics! You won’t find this level of quality anywhere else folks! Only here at www.pencilkids.com (Tell your friends!)

(17 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)

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Ninja Glove

Do you posess ninja fingers? Well i’ts time to prove it in this very fun little game by www.ninjadoodle.com

I seem to only be a ninja pinky at this moment which makes me PATHETIC in the ninja world…..but with years of dedicated training I think I may one day make it all the way to ninja thumb….which is the peak of ninja status. Now I just have to get off this chair and move around a little……hmmnnnnnnn maybe I’ll just stay sitting for a little while longer, afterall too much movement cannot be good for you either…and I already used my arm to butter my toast this morning.

(28 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)

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Star Force - Episode 1

A great looking game that’s kinda fun as you make your way all the way to that pathetic little planet called Earth! 

I always wanted to be a space shooting dude….but then again I also always wanted to be a cowboy, a pirate, a ninja, a secret agent and about a thousand other things……….but as I grew up I became more realistic and I realized that I could not be so silly with my ambitions anymore. So these days I focus my energy purely on just being a good ninja. Yeah…..those darn shurikens sure are getting expensive with that recession and all…….

(15 votes, average: 3.8 out of 5)

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BoomBot

BOOOOOMM!!!! He’s so cute isn’t he? Flying all over the place like that with that blood squirting!!!! Ahhhhhhh…… Another game from Ninja Kiwi…..from New Zealand……there’s a lot of Ninja Kiwi’s in NZ actually, yeah……. you have to be careful where you go at night around here as those darn flightless birds can be a menace! With their little nun-chucks and stuff. Last week I almost got a ninja star in my eye at the supermarket! Good thing I have the reflexes of a Koala and the vision of a mole…otherwise I’d be in real trouble!

(20 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5)

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Tilt and Roll

Do you guys remember that game where you get like a pack of cards and you lay them out on the table……then you turn over one randomly and you try to match it by picking another card that is the same….and then it’s your mom’s turn but she’s too busy watching TV so you make the move for her and suprisengly she actually does better then you …even though you were in control and you were trying to actually sabotage her move but you messed up and now she’s winning??

Well this game IS NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s a simple but fun tilting game where your aim is to land the ball in the hole!

(18 votes, average: 3 out of 5)

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Cake Quest

This one’s for all ya fatties out there!! You know who you are! Yeah that’s right! You there with the one hand in that bucket of chicken skins with gravy on top….. Hmmnnnnnnn chicken skinnnnsssssss! This game makes me hungry….. it’s really cool and funny, I like the sound you make when you eat too much and then try to jump. That little “UUghhhh”.

You’ll have to use that rusty old brain cell of yours for this one, even though I realize this may be difficult due to your brain being pure lard! But give it a go anyway! I’m off to suck on some chicken skin…….DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!!!!!

(26 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5)

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